Obituary for Florence V. McKenzie (McWhirter)

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Life Story for Florence V. McKenzie (McWhirter)

Florence Viola McKenzie (McWhirter)

Passed away Aug. 15th,2014 – around 6 pm with Carolyn at her side – as it should be but not how she wanted it. Funeral August 19th 2014
Preamble – Shortly after Florence was permanently admitted to the Hospital on June 5th – during our first visit she mentioned funeral wishes and no eulogy but if there was to be one I would have to do it. There was no way that we were having her funeral without a very long oration in her honour so after agreeing to do it I spent the next few days on the approach and decided I wanted more details about Florence than I knew so decided on visits with history lessons.
The first lesson was learning about what she was most proud of – Carolyn, Harold, Grandchildren? No it was that she was born at home in Guelph on March 7, 1927 in Guelph’s centennial year and said so on a city birth certificate. This was what she was most proud of. She was the third daughter of Mary and William (Bill) McWhirter – Evelyn was the oldest and then my mother Sarah.
Florence wasn’t sure where her name came from but Florence was apparently her mom’s sister Ann’s middle name and Daddy just like Viola. Apparently I just broke her funeral rule because she didn’t want her middle name used – Sorry Florence but you said that I had full editorial rights.
One of her very first memories when she was a little over 2 was when Evelyn was 6 she was hit by a car crossing the street as she had money for a candy bar. Sarah was holding Florence’s hand crossing a field as Sarah explained what happened. That’s where Evelyn got the scar on her face and some facial muscle damage.
Florence attended Tytler school in Guelph – oldest school in Guelph just closed in 2013- and completed grade 2 there before moving to Paris when she was 7 (1934) and had to redo grade 2 in Paris as they wouldn’t honour results from Guelph. All sisters had to repeat the last grade.
Daddy owned 2 houses in Guelph – theirs and one Aunt Lizzy lived in. It was Depression time and it was hard to get work and to sell houses so he kept them temporarily. Later sold to Aunt Sarah and Uncle Alf and maybe to someone else – not sure.
I asked her why Daddy (even at 87) and Mom
DADDY was always DADDY and still is. Mom was Ma or Maw (Irish) and she didn’t like it so she said from now on it was Mom, Mother or Mommy so they went with Mom.
In Paris – first Dumfries Street near KFC (not likely there then) for less than a year, then Emily street for 2 years (maybe like a duplex) Kelleys lived next door and went there during a storm but Mom was mad at them for bothering a neighbour over a storm.
Florence has always been apprehensive in T-storms (I never knew that) until watching a major one from her Hospital bed in early July and quite enjoyed the light show. Maybe the comfort of a large building like the Hospital or maybe just realizing that at this point in her life there was nothing to be scared about.
They then moved up to Jane Street for 1 year, then Mechanic street when she was 11 for a short time and then Daddy and Mom scrimped every penny they could together to buy William St. and that’s where they stayed. There was just an outhouse when they first moved in but they added the bathroom off the kitchen within the first year.
She remembers when WW2 broke out that the Dominion store was run by Mr. Siep which was a German name and it was boycotted because of this.
Growing up all three sisters were very close but sometimes depending on who was in to what it was 2 and then a different two etc. who were closer but always good friends and no sibling rivalries. All of them really enjoyed Sunday School and later the Young people’s groups at Paris Presbyterian Church and would attend all meetings and events
The strong family connection was the foundation for her lifelong devotion to her Christian faith.
In school she loved English literature (flair for her poetry) and really liked science too until it involved Lab work which she didn’t like so dropped it. She liked business subjects at high school – typing, math, business letter writing etc. Sarah and Florence took short hand at night school but Florence missed some classes so didn’t get diploma but was good at it and enjoyed it.
She liked playing basketball and baseball (softball) for phys ed but didn’t play sports otherwise.
When asked about memorable school chums she replied that there not too many that fit that category other than her sisters. But she remembered one school mate – Douglas Arnold Munroe was a real jokester and class clown who made sure everyone knew his initials.
Florence remembered walking home with Don Lee Mogan from the Catholic school and after a few times Mrs. Stickland across the street called her Mom to tell her. Mom was okay with it even with the history of the Irish Protestant/Catholic issues. A good example of inclusion, tolerance and acceptance in the McWhirter family even back then.
At 14 she had her first real job after school working at Penmans trimming the seams on the underwear so they were more comfortable for the POW’s who were in Canada. After graduating from high school Florence entered the working world and because of the war there were more jobs available.
At 17 she worked at Sayles Transport where Harold was a driver and she was going to take the Lake Erie and Northern train to Port Dover with Grace Goggens but Florence wanted to invite Harold but Grace said no so they didn’t go. The company was later sold to Shoreline Trucking and all the women eventually got fired since the owner (lots of foul language used in the office) thought that a trucking company was no place for women. She had several jobs – Walker Press, Brantford Roofing and Sonoco Paper Products to name some.
However, before leaving the trucking company Harold finally asked her out (probably after some strong hints) and he used a friend’s car to take her canoeing at Mohawk Park. RED canoe – appropriate colour (Harold’s nickname). After canoeing, the car wouldn’t start so Harold had to call his friend Scotty who came and got it started – Harold was very embarrassed but in typical Florence fashion, it didn’t bother her – not sure what they did after but likely went to Hooper’s for hot chocolate.
Harold had a bad habit of belching out loud so after a few dates they were walking down the street and she ran away ahead of him – Harold caught up and asked what was wrong and Florence told him she didn’t want to walk or go out with a rude belcher. He fixed his habit but it came back on a smaller scale after they were married.
When they were dating the consistent theme from Family was that he is a nice guy but don’t you think that he is a little Short. Or he is a cute little fellow are you serious about him. None of it mattered to Florence – she knew that she had her man.
Harold proposed when he was working at Crown Electric – bought the ring from Charlie Waddington at Nueman’s Jewellers on Colborne Street – Charlie later had his own store.
Florence turned 21 on the Tuesday and they got married on the Saturday. 22 people at the wedding – mostly family. 4 pm on March 13th 1948. Evelyn was maid of honour and John was the best man. Mrs. Stickland sang. Reception at the White Horse. Jack Otto took pictures.
John drove them to Hamilton where they took a train to Toronto for their Honeymoon.
Stayed at the Ford Hotel. Took a train excursion to Niagara Falls. Sister Sarah married July 1st the same year. Evelyn never dated even though she really liked a fellow who eventually asked her out but she didn’t go even though everyone was encouraging to go with him.
They came back to Paris after the Honeymoon and there was major flood that filled everyone’s basements that lived on the flats near the river. Labatt’s sent trucks around to pump out basements free but Mom told them they didn’t consume their product so wouldn’t take the service even though it didn’t matter to the pumper workers or Labatt’s. The same month Daddy put sump pumps in.
After they got married they stayed with Harold’s Mom and Dad on Market St.for a month or so and then got a small apartment at Alfred and Mary from May to September and then connected up with George Free a photographer in town who
had three houses on Terrace Hill Street. It helped that they didn’t work at the factories
that laid people off each year. Started in #33 downstairs – very small with a space heater and about two years later they moved to the upstairs apartment at #29 where I remember visiting - much more room. They lived there almost 10 years.
In 1959 -1960 they were looking for a house and strangely enough it was cheaper to build than to buy an existing home. So after looking around they found the lot on Sycamore which they paid about $2000 for but got a rebate of some sort from the City for a small portion of it since sewer hookups weren’t available yet. She had found a nice plan with a kitchen at the front but it was too much to build so they settled on a smaller plan with the kitchen at the back. After being married for 12 years they didn’t think they would need a bigger house. Moved in in August of 1960. Paid $9-10k for house Had it all paid off by 1970.
In the summer of 1962 they were going to have a western Canada trip with our family but before heading out to meet us in Thunder Bay (Port Arthur/Fort William) where Dad had been teaching summer school, she wasn’t feeling well and thought it was some pre menopause issues so went to Dr. Crusp who gave her the exciting news that Florence was pregnant and since she was having a few minor problems and was 35 years old was told not to travel. We remember the disappointment that they weren’t coming on the trip but how overjoyed everyone was to learn of the pregnancy. It’s a good thing she didn’t travel as she had evening sickness every single night until birth. Rumour of twins from Betty Rothmel (maybe Deb) and prenatal classes – but no – just one baby for them.
Harold only wanted a girl – name was going to be Carolyn and no need for a second name. Florence didn’t argue. On THEE morning she knew something was amiss as she couldn’t even get her socks on so called the Dr. and he told her to get to the Hospital. Carolyn was born on the exact due date – March 7th 1963.
Baby Carolyn entered the world about 10 am and just under 7 lbs. – 6lbs. 14oz. Dr Johnson (Minister at Central) came to see her the next day and said You and I got through the birth just fine but Harold had a pretty rough time and is a wreck - and they both laughed heartily.
They were in Hospital a week – Harold said not to ask to go home, just wait to be told since there is no hurry. Harold was very proud.
When Daddy and Mom came up to see them they were both really happy and Daddy said that she was the granddaughter he thought that we would never see.
Florence went back to work at some point after Carolyn was born and Sarah took care of Carolyn with an able bodied assistant (that would be me) when Sarah took an afternoon Shift at the hospital.
Over the years as Carolyn grew up there were many family outings as Harold and Florence and Sarah and John and their kids (cousins) remained very close and shared every Christmas, Easter, Vacations and birthdays together. Food and family were enough reasons to get together and of course these times were always shared with other friends and family members who wanted to join in.
Florence was like a second mother to all of us and Carolyn like a sister rather than a cousin. This was definitely how families should be – what a tremendous example we had set for us.
One of Carolyn’s recollections from elementary school was the project that was given to her class to work on your family tree. Well she eagerly started on the project with her mother’s help and was amazed at just how much knowledge Florence had as she was able to answer any of her questions and helped fill in many branches until the tree was ready for submission. A few days later a beaming Carolyn came bursting in the door from school to announce that she had received top marks for her project and the Teacher had been quite impressed. Eager to learn more, Carolyn asked her mom how she knew so much about her Family and without batting an eye Florence replied that she only knew a little and had made the rest up. Carolyn was both angry and devastated and tore up the project on the spot. She can laugh about it now but certainly not then and actually not for many years after.
Along with Family, Florence and Harold enjoyed the company of many friends but Ruth and Al Grant and Ross and Eva Goodbrand were the closest and Debbie Goodbrand and Carolyn shared many adventures together. Carolyn recounts the many family vacations in Sauble Beach and one trip in particular – Florence was driving Carolyn and Debbie to Sauble in her VW bug and Harold and others were to follow later. When they got to Fergus the Highland Games were on and roads were closed and detours set up around all the events but Florence was only used to one route. Apparently Florence followed her route right into the middle of the highland games area and when people shouted WHERE ARE YOU GOING LADY? Florence answered with simple – “We’re going to Sauble Beach” and continued on. I think poor Carolyn’s face never lost all the red from the embarrassment.
Always ready for some fun, Harold and Florence had the bus driver start driving away when Carolyn and two friends were tardy getting back from a shopping stop on a trip to Knoxville. There was a lot of laughter, applause and teasing from all the passengers after they sprinted to catch up to the slowly moving vehicle.
The next big family milestone was Carolyn’s engagement and Marriage to John Stratford on Sept.9, 1989. Soon to celebrate 25 years.
This was an opportunity for Carolyn to choose the second name she never had – what could be more fitting than McKenzie. Apparently John spent more time thanking Harold and Florence in his wedding speech than his own parents which put him in the Stratford doghouse for short period.
For a very few short years after Harold’s retirement from Central Presbyterian Church, Florence and Harold travelled with John and Sarah and others to various destinations such as Florida, Myrtle Beach and the Pinery cottages on Lake Huron. Much too soon Harold was stricken with Alzheimer’s disease and Florence refused to let anyone other than her care for him no matter how difficult things got – she would live up to her marriage vows anyway she could. During this difficult time, Florence developed breast cancer and with the help of friends and Family and her own will power was successful in fighting and winning this battle all the while caring for Harold. What an amazing display of Love and determination.
In 1997, the year before Harold’s passing in 1998 John and Carolyn presented them with a beautiful grandson, Colin, who is now 17. Unfortunately Colin and sister Lily who is now 12 did not get the chance to know their Grandfather Harold but I know that they have heard wonderful stories about him from Florence, Carolyn and John. Fortunately they did have a wonderful loving relationship with their grandmother Florence.
Colin recounts fond memories of a grandmother that was both predictable (when it came to how tomato soup was to be made and served in the same blue cup) and unpredictable during conversations. Colin helped out with yard work, always got quite a cheer from Florence when he built tall block towers and then sent them crashing to the floor. She was given a toy dancing Snoopy (her favourite character) last year and she loved her new toy. Lily loved visiting and staying at Grandma’s – either just talking or sitting quietly doing her colouring or playing with games. Whatever she wanted to do was just fine with Grandma Florence.
Florence loved the three dogs that she had – Cindy, Bo and Benny the last – she loved the company but didn’t think that she was up to caring for another one after Benny passed away several years ago.
Florence also endured a terrible bout of shingles that hung on and tormented her for years when most people have them for weeks or maybe months. The hardest thing during that time was no hugs or very very light ones. But even though we all knew the excruciating pain she was in (and she acknowledged it) she never complained about it and preferred to talk about other things. The hardest part for our family was that she was uncomfortable outside of her home so she wasn’t able to attend the traditional family events like Christmas and Birthdays and we all missed her dearly – no coaxing or accommodations to her needs could change her mind. We always made sure that Christmas dinner with everything she liked was delivered to her in a timely manner each Christmas Day.
Care giving and health issues did allow Florence to attend Central Presbyterian Church but she stayed connected through Carolyn, John C. and many other Church Members.
Florence gave up her car (our son Graham bought the 1995 Sunfire in 2005 or 6) and she relied on taxis for her infrequent outings for medical appointments., banks, hair appt. or groceries. She recounted many stories of outings with her personal chauffeurs. Too many to even begin today.
Florence was an avid baseball fan and I just learned two days before she passed away that I had some influence on her changing her allegiance for the Yankees to the Blue Jays – I had no idea. It was probably the only thing that I had any luck changing her mind on. She really enjoyed watching baseball and I am sure that it was a wonderful outlet for her as well. Her favourite baseball personality was feisty Billy Martin the Yankees manager that was hired and fired by George Steinbrenner the Yankees owner 5 times.
Florence enjoyed the many drop in visits from family members of all ages and over the last few years developed a real closeness with my mother-in-law Francis Stulen. Almost Family but definitely a wonderful friend. All the nieces and nephews loved the visits and always came away feeling good and having learned a new Florenceism.
Even as the end of her time on earth was upon her, she stayed so positive and refreshing to family, friends, Hospital and hospice staff and pastoral care visitors which the family would like to thank for all of their support. We would like to sincerely thank Mary Alison for her countless hours keeping vigil when other family members couldn’t be there. And her tremendous trademark sense of humour never left her. Even as she struggled in the last days, she was always thinking of others before herself – what a strong and courageous woman.
Even during her last telephone call from our son Graham which was only 24 hours before her passing she was thinking about and saying what was best for him.
Much earlier I referred to her love of literature and poetry. Florence graced each family member’s birthday card with a thoughtfully crafted poem that was different and unique each year and for each person. When she was 85 I thought it was only fair that she receive her own birthday poem which I created – She appreciated it very much but in her always open and honest communication style suggested that the one was sufficient unless I was open to her giving me some much needed pointers.
Florence – A beautiful person with a beautiful name – the first letter “F” also begins a few words that best describes Florence’s life with us:
Family – where it all starts when you are born but more importantly how you nurture the family relationships as you grow. Love of family
Faith – Her faith and love of God and Jesus Christ that Florence learned early in her life just kept growing stronger to the day she passed is an example to all who knew and loved her.
Friends – Florence had many very dear friends over the several stages of her life and she knew what true friendships were and became very open and tolerant of what people wanted to do – she was not without opinion but definitely without judgement.
Forthright – I don’t think that I have ever met a more forthright person – you always knew what she was thinking but in a very positive way – no hidden agenda – very refreshing
F(ph)ilosophical – very thoughtful about life and felt people should live their lives how they want and was happy to discuss any topic intelligently and open and honestly.
Feisty – Florence could be feisty and quite stubborn when she wanted or needed to be
Fun – She rolled all these strong and somewhat serious traits and characteristics into a life filled with humour, laughter and Fun.
As we leave today let us celebrate Florence’s wonderful life, thank God for our countless blessings and reflect on the words and message in Florence’s last poem that she wrote in her Hospital bed.
In Loving Memory of Florence,
Ross Cochrane